Be your own valentine

With valentine’s day just passing I wanted to take a minute to celebrate you. Through the years, valentine’s day has been a time to celebrate love and relationships. The last decade brought about a change in that and many places started hosting singles days and “galentines” event. These are a great support for people who do not have a significant other but what if you do have someone at home and they just don’t value you? What is there for you then?

I know that this day can be hard, especially if you are with someone who does not see you or appreciate you for your true worth. I have spent countless valentine’s days waiting for something that never came. I would go out and get the kids their valentine’s treats. Then find something for my husband, only to be told that he had “forgotten” to get me anything or that he didn’t have the money to do anything for me. When the kids were young I started taking everyone out to dinner and playing it off as if it was my gift so that it wouldn’t look bad but it hurt to never be celebrated.

The last few years that I was with my husband, I stopped doing anything for him for valentine’s day. He was upset but could not argue over it since he did not do anything for me either. As the kids got older, I began to dread the day approaching because it was just another day to remind me of the mess my relationship was in. I never stopped to think about the mess my relationship with myself was in, I was too focused on my relationship with others.

This year take a few days to celebrate your relationship with yourself. If your relationship with yourself needs work, step up and do the work to be the best version of yourself, forgive yourself for past mistakes, and have the hard conversation with yourself as to what you are willing to live with. It wasn’t until I began having a good relationship with myself that I was able to have good relationships with others. Take time to make your relationship with yourself special and fall in love with yourself again. You are the one person that you have to live with forever so take care of yourself and be the person that you would want to live with.

I am not going to lie; it will always hurt when your partner ignores you or does not acknowledge you for everything that you do. It will be hard and it doesn’t feel good. But at least, you have yourself to support you, to care for you, and to nurture you. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT neglect yourself. You need to be loved by yourself more than anyone else. So this valentine’s day, be your own valentine, love yourself, take yourself on a date (even if it is just ice cream and a chick flick on the sofa), and show yourself that you care and are worthy of being loved.